Paul Staines is not a blogger.

He really isn’t, and this should be obvious. I wouldn’t feel the need to say it but for the fact that the Guardian blessed him with this title yesterday in their Saturday interview. The following line was laughable:

His online persona is relentlessly mocking; it is also, compared to many online offerings, strikingly concise. Few entries, unless they contain a leaked memo or email, are more than 300 words long; you may object to their point, but there is never any doubt what it is.

That may be because there never is a point.

Look, I just opened Order Order’s homepage and it currently reads as follows. First, a promotion of his own column in the Sunday Sun. Second, a video of Keith Vaz performing karaoke. Further down, more self-promotion, this time of a Guido app. Then a flagging of the Telegraph’s “Big Mac Blooper“. You get the picture. They tell us their top-clicked story this week was “Sally’s Boozy Night Out With Tory Boys“.

And yet, courtesy of the Guardian again:

Guido Fawkes now has a column in the Sun on Sunday, thus reaching a potential readership of four million, on top of the 50-100,000 readers the blog gets every day.

We should collectively weep at the fact that this man’s readership is so large. There’s only one difference between vacuous joke non-stories in the tabloid press and Guido Fawkes blog posts: the former are printed and the latter are digital. And now that he writes for both and sells one using the other, even that boundary is blurred. There is no commentary or analysis to be found here. Staines doesn’t use his platform to think out loud and debate policy and ideas with others. He barely writes thoughts at all. And yet that is the essence of blogging. We’re really going to refer to this man using the same title we apply to Andrew Sullivan and Ezra Klein, granting it to anybody that posts anything online on a regular basis? What is the point of that?

Still, we probably shouldn’t be surprised that there’s nothing of intellectual significance to find on Order-Order. A friend pointed out to me a particularly pathetic part of the interview, which pretty much sums the man up:

[Staines] went to Catholic school in Harrow, and although he lost his faith at 13, he and his wife intend to raise their daughters with all the rituals of the Catholic church.

So not only poisoning young minds with bullshit, but doing so believing it’s bullshit yourself? Classy.

No serious person with even the inclination to critically reflect on life would ever say or do something this utterly fatuous. If there’s major space for this man in the British ‘blogosphere’ then we can consider it doomed.


2 thoughts on “Paul Staines is not a blogger.

  1. Argh, stupid software, didn’t expect it to do the tweet as an inline widget…you need to see the responses and Guido’s follow-ups. Hopefully below URL will work if you remove the spaces… If not, I give up defeated by the simple act of pasting a web address into a comment!

    https://twitter .com /GuidoFawkes/status/286518606085369856

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